There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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