he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
