it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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