Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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