please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
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