i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
