Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize