whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
