it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
