wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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