I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
