Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
