Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
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