please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize