I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
