Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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