i think i have herpe
just one?
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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