i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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