I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
