i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
