I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
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