R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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