My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
