Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
