My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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