I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize