he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
