i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
