were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
