new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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