Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
