oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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