why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
