so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize