I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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