I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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