Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I could fuck to npr.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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