I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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