She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
