Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
