All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
