This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
