hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
