My nipple is on Facebook.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
