she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
