Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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