She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
