He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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