i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my liver is dry heaving
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
