i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This baby is an asshole
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
