Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
