My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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