six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
