i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
