I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
