happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
