I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
